Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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