do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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