didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
