If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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