You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
