You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
