Sponge bath it is.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I am midnight drunk by noon
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
