Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
