i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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