She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
