Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
