So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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