your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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