What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize