Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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