brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
