if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
