All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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