Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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