Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
