I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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