I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
