what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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