I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
