So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
