Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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