i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize