i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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