I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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