Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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