Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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