can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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