Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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