margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
