you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
