get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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