I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize