That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
