he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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