he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
