Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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