I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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