It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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