were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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