I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
