Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Semen is not good for contacts.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
