My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
