so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
