He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
