she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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