We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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