We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
