just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Randomize
