if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
do herpes really smell.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
