Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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