Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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