i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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