But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
