So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this beer tastes like vomit already
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Terrible idea I love it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
